I think that starting a post is the worst part. You always want to start out with something witty and funny to grab people's attention...so you sit in front of the computer for a good 5 minutes thinking of the most genius, inventive thing to say; writing down sentences and then deleting them only to start the whole process over. In my head I've been running through impressive things to say, but now I'm just going to lay it all out.
A few weeks ago, a friend came to visit and we watched the Invisible Children documentary again. We didn't even have to begin the movie to have it affect us...as soon as the music came on the menu screen, both of us began to weep as all of the memories of Africa and suffering children came to mind. I was such an overwhelming feeling that I must confess I had forgotten about. Why is it so easy to forget the sufferings of others when we are so comfortable?
It hit me just last week that I am actually going to Africa. I'm not going to be in Chapin again all summer...I am going to be LIVING in Africa. The thought blew me away because I have never had it truely feel real to me, but now that it is less than a month away reality is setting in!
Update time! I actually got all of my support raised thanks to many amazing people and an wonderfully generous scholarship! It is so ridiculous how much the Lord has provided for this trip! His hands and fingerprints have been all over it. As I write this I am astounded by how little faith I actually have. For the past week I have been worried sick because my passport has not arrived, and I still have to get my visa. In my head I have this whole senario of not getting my passport and not being able to go to Africa. It plagues me because it is something that I have absolutely no control over. I love having control and being able to determine how things work and when they will work best for me. It is SO hard for me to let go of things. This is one instance, like raising support, where I am forced to let go. Worrying will get me nowhere. There is a verse in Matthew where the gist is...do not worry for tomorrow has enough worries of its own. The Lord has provided so much already that He has to follow through to the end. It just takes my effort once again to trust Him. The reoccuring theme of my life. Maybe I can get it right this time...
2 comments:
ellen i love that picture, because you look so tense and uncomfortable...haha. yay for getting all your support raised :)
you are actually going. less than a month. you're gonna be AMAZING over there. hey, come back okay? cause you're gonna hit your element and not want to. but come back and tell everyone about it. get disciples, teach them what you've learned then take them back with you. maybe i'll be one of them. i can't wait! so glad you got all your support raised! i miss you ellen, can't wait for a little catch up time before you leave!!
Post a Comment